Seriously, this fucking dissertation proposal is going to be the death of me. Or of my academic career. I'm not sure which. Not only have we gone from "your chapter outlines aren't connected enough" to "you're being way too specific - you could really only get a chapter out of this" to which I responded "I'm thinking along the lines of using X as a hinge to read things Y,Z,Q and B from, so that X can link the chapters together" which got me the response of "don't write anything until we've talked (which won't be until next Tuesday!) and read all the stuff on sacred/secular texts that you were supposed to read two months ago. Oh, and your deadline is really pressing now (ed.comment - it's in 7 weeks) and you really need to get cracking - I think you'll have to work your whole winter break on this! Oh, and make sure you realize that your thinking is likely to change ten pages into draft one of your introduction, and that we all accept ahead of time that this proposal is in essence a little white lie."
So. First question is that I'm not really sure what the hell sacred/secular overlapping literature it is I'm supposed to be reading other than this one 1000 page tome I haven't picked up yet because I haven't had the time because I've been trying to get this fucking proposal out so that I *would* have the time to actually digest it. I realize that advisor A and I spent an hour in the library together looking at stuff on precisely that topic. Why I don't have a better idea of what she thinks I'm supposed to be reading is beyond me because I have picked up and at least skimmed pretty much everything she mentioned. If she has some magic specific text in mind, it would be nice of her to mention it to me because I'm fucking clueless now.
Second question is wondering why, if we all apparently recognize that the document I'm being raked over the coals for is nothing but a little white lie to show the administration that I have some clue as to what I'm doing being that by writing it I have no time to actually process ideas the way I'd like to because I'm currently too trapped by the document to actually write anything meaningful, can't we just go ahead with some "final revisions" and let it go, assuming that, as has been admitted, I'm wasting my time by being at the proposal stage.
Third, advisor B pointed out that my comma usage apparently sucks (after a point, comma usage is generally STYLISTIC) and that reading my work is pissing her off. She told me this this morning. So I laughed it off and said "well we definitely don't want you angry while you're reading drafts" and said I'd have Tony look over stuff since I apparently am missing things, but honestly. The last draft I sent her was for me pretty clean. So what she just told me was that my writing style pisses her off. Fucking lovely. I fail to see how that's constructive at all, or how that's supposed to make me feel like this is a good working relationship. It's not a good working relationship. It's a fucking nightmare.
Fourth - said two advisors have turned into the fucking Borg or something. They've got this identical idea (based on talking to them both and their comments) of what I'm supposed to do. I just wish they'd share it with me. Because I am lost.
Fifth - What their idea of my dissertation is (so far as I can guess this) and what my idea of it is are not the same thing. I've given up on trying to do my ideas because they don't like them and the battle is not currently worth fighting. It will be worth fighting when I have the proposal approved and I am on maintenance of candidacy, but it is not worth it yet. Because there are deadlines and I am fucking NOT spending my entire fucking BREAK working on this stupid thing. It is not worth the time or the energy.
Fuck fuckity fuckfuckfuck.
Tony did tell me last night that it would work fine for him if we got our dissertations done, he got a swanky job at a private high school (the good ones pay LOADS and LOVE to hire Ph.Ds) in a fun part of the country and he'd send me off to brewing school. And he'd be happy and I'd be happy.
I've been comparing stories. My advisors are the two newest faculty members and they're both in their first time heading committees. I got told by three people this morning that it sounds like the other person with my same committee people and I are being hazed something awful - this stupid thing is supposed to be broad, general, and about 7 pages. I'm at 12 at last count "and have about enough material for a chapter." Meanwhile, Tony's has been signed off on and he's working on chapter one already.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
back to almost drawing board
Got the latest round of comments back from both advisors (and to think, I still need two more) on the dissertation proposal. I can't believe that any one 10 page document is requiring this much work, when we all know and recognize that it doesn't have any viability as a written document beyond having to have a few people look at it so they'll sign off so I can be on maintenance of candidacy.
So, both of them think I've gone too narrow in my focus (one of whom told me that I'd come up with a great chapter, but not a great dissertation; the other of whom mentioned that the chapters seem to be repetitive, and need to branch out in other directions). Yay. This after several rounds of my not being specific enough. Also, one of them thinks that I can't write a sentence correctly. Yes, I know I'm long-winded and whatnot, but I know my grammar and when I'm writing something academic I do keep to grammatically correct sentences. It's sorta the way to go with that stuff. I've never had anyone tell me I need to start polishing my writing more before I send them stuff... so that little barb hurt.
I gather I need to meet with them again next week after the holidays so we can figure out what I'm supposed to be doing now so that they can sign off on the next draft (and so hopefully we can get me two other committee members who would also sign off on the next draft). So I'll set that up I suppose. And tomorrow I need to go back to working on that damned draft and see what I can do to branch out into whatever arenas I'm supposed to branch out into. I don't feel like I'm writing a dissertation for myself or as according to my own interests anymore; I feel like I'm writing some boring and pedantic little piece to make a bunch of other people happy. I'd love to say it isn't supposed to be like this but I imagine my experience with this is probably quite similar to other peoples'. This must be why so many people get to the ABD stage and say 'fuck this' as loudly as possible.
Tonight I think I'll salve my bruised ego a bit and enjoy the bpalz that finally came in the mail today. I've got Death of Autumn on one wrist and Archangel Winter on the other, so I smell like the weather outside - lots of dead leaves, a bit of smoke, and cold wet air. It's been snowing/sleeting/raining since yesterday morning and I had to cancel class tonight because I wasn't going to deal with driving back up from Philly several hours after dark in the frozen slush that's been falling from the sky. I don't think they've had bad weather in Philly, which is funny... oh, the joys of living 60 miles North of one's current place of employment.
So, both of them think I've gone too narrow in my focus (one of whom told me that I'd come up with a great chapter, but not a great dissertation; the other of whom mentioned that the chapters seem to be repetitive, and need to branch out in other directions). Yay. This after several rounds of my not being specific enough. Also, one of them thinks that I can't write a sentence correctly. Yes, I know I'm long-winded and whatnot, but I know my grammar and when I'm writing something academic I do keep to grammatically correct sentences. It's sorta the way to go with that stuff. I've never had anyone tell me I need to start polishing my writing more before I send them stuff... so that little barb hurt.
I gather I need to meet with them again next week after the holidays so we can figure out what I'm supposed to be doing now so that they can sign off on the next draft (and so hopefully we can get me two other committee members who would also sign off on the next draft). So I'll set that up I suppose. And tomorrow I need to go back to working on that damned draft and see what I can do to branch out into whatever arenas I'm supposed to branch out into. I don't feel like I'm writing a dissertation for myself or as according to my own interests anymore; I feel like I'm writing some boring and pedantic little piece to make a bunch of other people happy. I'd love to say it isn't supposed to be like this but I imagine my experience with this is probably quite similar to other peoples'. This must be why so many people get to the ABD stage and say 'fuck this' as loudly as possible.
Tonight I think I'll salve my bruised ego a bit and enjoy the bpalz that finally came in the mail today. I've got Death of Autumn on one wrist and Archangel Winter on the other, so I smell like the weather outside - lots of dead leaves, a bit of smoke, and cold wet air. It's been snowing/sleeting/raining since yesterday morning and I had to cancel class tonight because I wasn't going to deal with driving back up from Philly several hours after dark in the frozen slush that's been falling from the sky. I don't think they've had bad weather in Philly, which is funny... oh, the joys of living 60 miles North of one's current place of employment.
Monday, November 12, 2007
teaching in 8 minutes
So I'm teaching in a few minutes and getting the pre-class nervousness that I always get with this class - I don't know if it's because it's two and a half hours straight that I'm supposed to be keeping them interested and entertained or if it's because I've had a few off weeks or what. We're doing Margery Kempe tonight and I'm hoping it goes well despite the fact that half the class seems to hate the book. I actually love it; Margery is completely fantastic, quick-witted at times and really judgmental of the idiots around her, etc... and I love that the book puts a moral spin on whether or not one believes Margery - if you do, then you're going to heaven, if not, then you're off to hell. Hopefully it will be okay once I get past the initial couple of moments where students just stare at me like 'oh, it's you again, go away...' It usually is. And in two and a half hours when I survive tonight, I can go home, eat leftover chili with Tony, pack for tomorrow, play with the kitties, sleep, get up, shower, and hit the airport to go home for a few days and attempt to get my stress levels back to manageable for the rest of the semester... YAY!!!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
earlier mental wanderings
Turned into this paragraph. Consider it copywrited, bitches!!
"The Auchinleck manuscript has been dated to roughly 1330-1331, early in the reign of the young Edward III. For Londoners at this time, the reign of Edward I with its strong judicial institutions and prestigious knights had a powerful pull on the imaginations of those who had lately suffered through the corrupt reign of Edward II. Edward II’s reign was a time of much legal change and experimentation, coinciding with corruption and injustice in the highest levels of the government. As Anthony Musson points out, the beginning of Edward III’s reign was characterized by a “conscious resurrection of various laws and policies from Edward I’s time” (174). As Edward III took power and settled in as king, his subjects were energetically trying to re-establish social order and justice in the legal system (and indeed in the country at large). Citizens became nostalgic for the legal and cultural traditions of Edward I, using that nostalgia to re/create (i.e., both revive and create anew) the broken legal system. But the nostalgia was not limited to the legal system; it also involved the high chivalric ideals exploited by Edward I to form the backbone of his military might against the Welsh and the Scots in his imperialistic wars. By the 1330’s when the Auchinleck manuscript was being compiled, knights were not the mounted military figures they had been, but were instead taking a leading role in the newly representative form of a parliament which was largely concerned with the arbitration of justice. Knightly activity had become more involved with parliamentary judicial proceedings and upholding social justice than it was in battle and tournaments. In a sense, then, knights and justice had been conflated, and manipulation of one could in turn help define the other. Londoners in particular had a high sense of pride for their legal history, compiling it in custumals, which formed miscellaneous collections of law code and historical record and which were kept on record by the City Magistrate and also privately collected by individual citizens. Ralph Hanna points to these custumals as being the closest analog we have to the Auchinleck manuscript, which again suggests the conflation of chivalric and legal ideals in the early reign of Edward III."
Like I said, MY THOUGHTS, MY WRITING. (I hate having to think about that.)
But still, I'm pretty happy with that mess of words! It only took five hours of sitting at a computer and staring and the past two and a half months of sitting and staring at books and feeling the knots in my back return from their summer, post-exam hiatus...
Off to watch South Park and convince myself that the fact that there won't be a Daily Show until the writers' strike ends (and I'm rooting for the writers) means that I should spend time I would normally be watching that working on my dissertation, or at least reading for class on Monday...
"The Auchinleck manuscript has been dated to roughly 1330-1331, early in the reign of the young Edward III. For Londoners at this time, the reign of Edward I with its strong judicial institutions and prestigious knights had a powerful pull on the imaginations of those who had lately suffered through the corrupt reign of Edward II. Edward II’s reign was a time of much legal change and experimentation, coinciding with corruption and injustice in the highest levels of the government. As Anthony Musson points out, the beginning of Edward III’s reign was characterized by a “conscious resurrection of various laws and policies from Edward I’s time” (174). As Edward III took power and settled in as king, his subjects were energetically trying to re-establish social order and justice in the legal system (and indeed in the country at large). Citizens became nostalgic for the legal and cultural traditions of Edward I, using that nostalgia to re/create (i.e., both revive and create anew) the broken legal system. But the nostalgia was not limited to the legal system; it also involved the high chivalric ideals exploited by Edward I to form the backbone of his military might against the Welsh and the Scots in his imperialistic wars. By the 1330’s when the Auchinleck manuscript was being compiled, knights were not the mounted military figures they had been, but were instead taking a leading role in the newly representative form of a parliament which was largely concerned with the arbitration of justice. Knightly activity had become more involved with parliamentary judicial proceedings and upholding social justice than it was in battle and tournaments. In a sense, then, knights and justice had been conflated, and manipulation of one could in turn help define the other. Londoners in particular had a high sense of pride for their legal history, compiling it in custumals, which formed miscellaneous collections of law code and historical record and which were kept on record by the City Magistrate and also privately collected by individual citizens. Ralph Hanna points to these custumals as being the closest analog we have to the Auchinleck manuscript, which again suggests the conflation of chivalric and legal ideals in the early reign of Edward III."
Like I said, MY THOUGHTS, MY WRITING. (I hate having to think about that.)
But still, I'm pretty happy with that mess of words! It only took five hours of sitting at a computer and staring and the past two and a half months of sitting and staring at books and feeling the knots in my back return from their summer, post-exam hiatus...
Off to watch South Park and convince myself that the fact that there won't be a Daily Show until the writers' strike ends (and I'm rooting for the writers) means that I should spend time I would normally be watching that working on my dissertation, or at least reading for class on Monday...
things I need to organize
Just mentally. The organization of the rest of my life would take more than just a blog to deal with.
- the early 1330's were characterized in part by a nostalgia for Edward I (the Longshanks of Braveheart fame). This entailed:
- a return to legal proceedings and court eyres as in Edward I's time
- a heightened cultural standing for the concept of knighthood
- knighthood under Edward I had been very prestigious due to Edward's conscious manipulation of Arthurian style jousts, etc.
-Knights were forming the beginnings of the representative parliament and thus were very active in legal proceedings
-Therefore if we take the manuscript as being an analog to the legal custumals such as the liber Horn, placing the knight on a high moral pedestal with an internalized, self-correcting morality would help create the ideal of the sort of person who would be most fit to be judge or representative
-Furthermore, by privileging the individual sense of morality by systematically denying the role of the clerical figures, the manuscript could also be arguing for the primacy of secular courts over their clerical counterparts, in a sense saying that secular courts should be in control for all matters of justice and the clerical courts would be essentially unnecessary in most matters.
-The upshot of this is that through this manuscript we can see the nascent and increasing divide between secular and sacred social arenas when they had before been more intertwined.
UGH. Must get this all straightened out somehow so's I can relink my chapter outlines so's I can send this out tomorrow....
- the early 1330's were characterized in part by a nostalgia for Edward I (the Longshanks of Braveheart fame). This entailed:
- a return to legal proceedings and court eyres as in Edward I's time
- a heightened cultural standing for the concept of knighthood
- knighthood under Edward I had been very prestigious due to Edward's conscious manipulation of Arthurian style jousts, etc.
-Knights were forming the beginnings of the representative parliament and thus were very active in legal proceedings
-Therefore if we take the manuscript as being an analog to the legal custumals such as the liber Horn, placing the knight on a high moral pedestal with an internalized, self-correcting morality would help create the ideal of the sort of person who would be most fit to be judge or representative
-Furthermore, by privileging the individual sense of morality by systematically denying the role of the clerical figures, the manuscript could also be arguing for the primacy of secular courts over their clerical counterparts, in a sense saying that secular courts should be in control for all matters of justice and the clerical courts would be essentially unnecessary in most matters.
-The upshot of this is that through this manuscript we can see the nascent and increasing divide between secular and sacred social arenas when they had before been more intertwined.
UGH. Must get this all straightened out somehow so's I can relink my chapter outlines so's I can send this out tomorrow....
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Proposal writing
So I need to write this proposal like today, because I really need to have it out by the end of the week and I really don't want to end up sending my advisors another round of something that's still pretty rough - this needs to be better than what I've sent them in the past because I sort of feel as though I need to prove that I'm not completely scatterbrained and stupid, which is by and large how I've been feeling I must present myself to them as of late. So I really need to get my brain back into focus on this. Besides which I keep thinking that if I get through this and get it sent out I'll probably feel a lot better about things overall, and may be able to get to the point where my attempts at relaxation are working again a bit more. The holiday stuff came out for Lush, and I'm telling myself I can get a few bath bombs and stuff once I've gotten this proposal out and we're all relatively okay with it/at least agree I have a working draft, as opposed to a draft that accomplished whatever it needed to accomplish and can now be shoved off so that I can start from scratch yet again. I'll feel better when I get to that stage, I hope.
And I need to stop tying my in/ability to concentrate to my self esteem. I think that's been horribly unproductive because every time I get stuck and stranded, I get more frustrated with myself and end up even less productive. It's one of those cycles I've noticed in my thought patterns that for the moment I've got to attempt to just STOP. The long and short of it is that I'm spending more time mentally crucifying myself than I am getting through productive thoughts, and in the end I'm getting nowhere but depressed. I don't have time to deal with a depression right now and I've got a billion really wonderful things in my life between Tony and my family and friends and cats. Focusing on those helps. Nunk keeps curling up in my lap and purring when I'm in a particularly depressive group of thoughts - it's like she knows when I'm beating myself up.
I've got jazz/ballet in 6 hours. Before then I need to eat a couple of times so I have enough energy to get through. I also need to get an outline for all the chapters, or if not outlines then maybe a fleshed out version of just one chapter. I think what I do with that will need to depend on my attention span and whether or not I can focus on just one thing or if I'm all over the place. I also need to try and remind myself that this document does to a degree *matter*, even if the only point of it is to convince the Dean to put me on Maintenance of Candidacy. That does need to happen or I won't get funding next year. So regardless of how little this document has any bearing on my actual dissertation, it needs to be good for its purposes. It is just another bullshit hoop that's a waste of a semester, but it still has to get done. Given academics is just a series of largely bullshit hoops, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I'm dealing with another one.
And I need to stop tying my in/ability to concentrate to my self esteem. I think that's been horribly unproductive because every time I get stuck and stranded, I get more frustrated with myself and end up even less productive. It's one of those cycles I've noticed in my thought patterns that for the moment I've got to attempt to just STOP. The long and short of it is that I'm spending more time mentally crucifying myself than I am getting through productive thoughts, and in the end I'm getting nowhere but depressed. I don't have time to deal with a depression right now and I've got a billion really wonderful things in my life between Tony and my family and friends and cats. Focusing on those helps. Nunk keeps curling up in my lap and purring when I'm in a particularly depressive group of thoughts - it's like she knows when I'm beating myself up.
I've got jazz/ballet in 6 hours. Before then I need to eat a couple of times so I have enough energy to get through. I also need to get an outline for all the chapters, or if not outlines then maybe a fleshed out version of just one chapter. I think what I do with that will need to depend on my attention span and whether or not I can focus on just one thing or if I'm all over the place. I also need to try and remind myself that this document does to a degree *matter*, even if the only point of it is to convince the Dean to put me on Maintenance of Candidacy. That does need to happen or I won't get funding next year. So regardless of how little this document has any bearing on my actual dissertation, it needs to be good for its purposes. It is just another bullshit hoop that's a waste of a semester, but it still has to get done. Given academics is just a series of largely bullshit hoops, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I'm dealing with another one.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
momentary metacognition
So I've been realizing that a lot of the language I've been using for the past month or so when describing myself or my mental state or situation seems inevitably to involve some sort of feeling of being static, unmoving, stuck, or blocked somehow. This seems to all go back to my inability to deal with the current stressors in my life in anything even approaching a healthy way - rather than being productive when necessary and using any free time to destress, I've been having huge concentration issues, flipping into daydreams without actually realizing that I've done so for several minutes, have had my energy level spike in one of those weird, toxic ways that means that my muscles are constantly sore and I end up feeling more exhausted than usual, that sort of stuff. Meanwhile, my ability to get through all the reading I have for my class each week is suffering - I get through it all, but I'm not comprehending it on a level I'd be thrilled about with if I were taking the class, much less teaching it. I'm not really comprehending anything I'm reading right now on a very deep level. Because of this, I'm having a hard time critiquing arguments, synthesizing ideas, or working through any of the problems I've run into on the dissertation. My dissertation progress has slowed to nonexistent - I need to be putting together another draft of the proposal, but I've been finding it next to impossible to throw my brain into thinking about anything to do with the dissertation or the proposal for any length of time. During the first half of the semester I was balancing pretty well - I'd spend the mid-week section of time working on exclusively dissertation stuff and keep my brain pretty well focused on that, and then spend Friday-Monday working on stuff for my class. Lately, however, it's been taking all week to get through class stuff, my brain seems unable to flip into dissertation mode, and the stress of feeling like I'm forever falling further behind is leaving me unable to sleep - which is probably feeding the cycle more.
The upshot I suppose is that it feels like whatever is really ADD in my brain has gone on spin cycle, and I'm actually worse than usual. I'm to the point of idealizing any type of work that isn't graduate school, because I wonder a lot of the time if I'd be more productive if I were in a typical 8-5 office environment, and I feel like at this point my self-esteem seems tied to my productivity, as I've been getting more and more depressed and angry at myself over my lack of work or productivity or, um, product (seeing my dissertation proposal as a sort of end-phase commodity I suppose - I'm feeling pretty alienated from the process at the moment especially when I know that the whole proposal is pretty much there just to make the Dean here allow me to be on maintenance of candidacy).
Meanwhile, I'm comparing myself pretty relentlessly to Tony. I need to stop this. He just has this seemingly magical ability to stop all the things in his brain and really focus, and this ability is completely eluding me. And he just ran his first marathon last week, and I'm barely managing to work out more than once a week (though I'm down to magic weight - that 135 pound mark that means that I feel pretty good and thin, but not so thin that Sarah and Janet start yelling at me to gain weight - just healthy). I think I should be trying to work out a bit more because it seems like the cardio and whatnot should be helping me to focus some of the stress somewhere else. I can eat more if I worry about losing any more weight.
So I'm stuck at the moment and not doing a very good job of working though it right now. I'm frustrated with school because it feels like the current hoop I'm attempting to jump through is pretty pointless, and I'm also frustrated because for the most part I really haven't enjoyed teaching this semester as much as I was hoping to and it's making me call into question my ability as a teacher or even my desire to do this for the rest of my life. I think some of the stress of all of this professional doubt and self-doubt and not knowing how to overcome it quite yet is part of what's got my brain in overdrive, which is probably funneling into my concentration, which is in turn keeping me from getting through the proposal so that I can back up, do the background reading I need to be doing to really give some good analysis, and all of that.
And at the moment I need to be getting through the last three essays for tomorrow's class so that I can figure out how in the hell I think we'll be getting through five theoretical standpoints and their accompanying essays in two and a half hours. And it's all centered on Chaucer. I keep hoping they'll come up with a Chaucer action figure so I can hang him upside down by his ankle in my office...
On brighter notes, my comp two proposal for next semester got cleared, so I'll be teaching a course surrounding cultural attitudes towards death (Matthew!!! I need something short and accessible about AIDS please!!!). So we'll see how a comp two course goes when I'm doing everything I can to avoid talking politics with them...
The upshot I suppose is that it feels like whatever is really ADD in my brain has gone on spin cycle, and I'm actually worse than usual. I'm to the point of idealizing any type of work that isn't graduate school, because I wonder a lot of the time if I'd be more productive if I were in a typical 8-5 office environment, and I feel like at this point my self-esteem seems tied to my productivity, as I've been getting more and more depressed and angry at myself over my lack of work or productivity or, um, product (seeing my dissertation proposal as a sort of end-phase commodity I suppose - I'm feeling pretty alienated from the process at the moment especially when I know that the whole proposal is pretty much there just to make the Dean here allow me to be on maintenance of candidacy).
Meanwhile, I'm comparing myself pretty relentlessly to Tony. I need to stop this. He just has this seemingly magical ability to stop all the things in his brain and really focus, and this ability is completely eluding me. And he just ran his first marathon last week, and I'm barely managing to work out more than once a week (though I'm down to magic weight - that 135 pound mark that means that I feel pretty good and thin, but not so thin that Sarah and Janet start yelling at me to gain weight - just healthy). I think I should be trying to work out a bit more because it seems like the cardio and whatnot should be helping me to focus some of the stress somewhere else. I can eat more if I worry about losing any more weight.
So I'm stuck at the moment and not doing a very good job of working though it right now. I'm frustrated with school because it feels like the current hoop I'm attempting to jump through is pretty pointless, and I'm also frustrated because for the most part I really haven't enjoyed teaching this semester as much as I was hoping to and it's making me call into question my ability as a teacher or even my desire to do this for the rest of my life. I think some of the stress of all of this professional doubt and self-doubt and not knowing how to overcome it quite yet is part of what's got my brain in overdrive, which is probably funneling into my concentration, which is in turn keeping me from getting through the proposal so that I can back up, do the background reading I need to be doing to really give some good analysis, and all of that.
And at the moment I need to be getting through the last three essays for tomorrow's class so that I can figure out how in the hell I think we'll be getting through five theoretical standpoints and their accompanying essays in two and a half hours. And it's all centered on Chaucer. I keep hoping they'll come up with a Chaucer action figure so I can hang him upside down by his ankle in my office...
On brighter notes, my comp two proposal for next semester got cleared, so I'll be teaching a course surrounding cultural attitudes towards death (Matthew!!! I need something short and accessible about AIDS please!!!). So we'll see how a comp two course goes when I'm doing everything I can to avoid talking politics with them...
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